I Am A Success

I AM A SUCCESS

By Mary Kay Wilson
marykaywilsonart.com

I am a success! My painting is accepted in a National show!
I am a failure. My paintings are not accepted in the next five shows I enter.
I am a success! My painting is included in a show and someone buys it.
I am a success! My painting is judged “Best in Show”.
I am a failure. I am not selected to paint an Angel for the Community of Angels public art project.
The next year I am a success! I am selected to paint an Angel for the Community of Angels public art project.

The list goes on and on and the pendulum swings back and forth. This is the constant dialogue – not unique to artists, but perhaps more frequent in the creative pursuits – the questioning. Should I have taken another path – not gone to the college I did – focused on a career with a clear set of standards and rules for achievement – done something more practical?

But I continue to follow my heart – it sings when I paint – the small voice inside me tells this is what I am meant to do – this is right. If I commit more fully will it be easier? Is it supposed to be easy? Do I have any choice at all?

I am a success! The painting I am working on looks great.
I am a failure. I haven’t sent out any slides in weeks.
I am a success! I have touched someone with my work.
I am a success! The director of a museum praises my work.
I am a failure. I need to earn money from a day job.
I am a success! I have art consultants representing my work.
I am a failure. My art consultants have not sold any of my work.

I am a success for the simple reason that I continue to show up at my drafting table and create, my work continues to improve and expand.

I am a success! I’m going to go paint.